Opened Doors & Closed Doors

"Whenever one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us." -Alexander Graham Bell

I think this quote pretty much summarizes my life. I am always looking at the closed door and thinking of what I did wrong or "what if I would have done this" or "I should have stuck it out longer"... and I think about these things so much that I can't embrace the opening door (opportunity) that is right in front of me. I would love to say that I can close a door and not think twice about it, but I find myself doubting my decision to close it for so long. This has always happened to me, I feel like. I have closed the door on big things in my life like gymnastics, Baylor, and finally my last job and to this day, I STILL question my motives for doing so. I mean, there are plenty of things that I have left and it was so easy in doing so, but I feel as though the trouble with the gymnastics, Baylor, and my last job is the fact that I put my entire self into these things. Maybe not so much with Baylor, but definitely with gymnastics and my last job. I would have done anything to succeed, I would work at either of these things day after day hour after hour because they were something that I enjoyed doing and I didn't mind putting ALL of my effort into them, however the day came where I no longer enjoyed these things as much as I used to and I decided to shut the door. 

So I guess it would seem kinda evident that the closed door I'm struggling most with now is my previous job. I do not miss the drama at all, but I do miss my actual job. I loved every part of it and would have gone above and beyond to make things happen there, but the environment was so incredibly toxic to me. I had probably stuck it out longer than I ever should have in the first place. So in all of this, I am really just trying to find closure. I am trying to make myself realize that even though the job was awesome and I loved what I did, there were things that far outweighed the good and I did make the right decision. And in my mind, I do know that i truly made the right decision for me. It's just hard knowing because that was my life... my work and my school. 

But on the positive end, I'm pretty certain that I have another job headed my way... and it is doing the same exact stuff that I did at my last job. I am waiting on the offer letter, but have already interviewed for it and all. So I am pretty excited to have this opportunity since it is doing what I already know that I love to do. It is still in the apartment world that I am comfortable with and it is still involving event planning. :) The funny thing is, I was given the opportunity to have this job about 3 or 4 months ago because I was unhappy with my last job and had sought this one out, however I was ensured that things were going to get better at the Arbors, which never really happened after all. So I ended up turning down this job... and regretting it in the end. But to my surprise, they had one more opening at this time and saw if I was still interested... and turns out I am! So I am very glad that I am being given a second chance. :) 

Being given this second chance has got me thinking that maybe things DO happen for a reason. Right when I quit my job, I got the chance to intern with an event planner.... something that I never would have had the chance to had I been working. And I got a 3 week long summer, that I wasn't expecting, but has turned out to be pretty nice. The stars have finally aligned in the right way and things just may work out after all... or at least I hope lol :)